I admire a particular kind of strength that doesn’t raise its voice.

Let me explain.

Lately, I’ve found myself in a few spirited exchanges with someone online—someone very certain of how everything works, and very quick to dismiss, ridicule and criticize anyone who sees it differently. You know the type. Confident. Unwavering. Uninterested in being challenged.

And if I’m honest here, there are moments I’d love to meet that energy head-on….ha ha … but I resist. Not because I don’t have thoughts but because I’ve learned that certainty isn’t always a sign of truth and defensiveness is not a sign of strength.

In fact, some of my most valuable moments have come from realizing just how wrong I was.

Like, when I first started studying habits and confidently read the word “paradigm” as para-dig-im. Out loud. More than once.

Or the time I was sitting in a defensive driving course, listening to someone argue that staying in the left lane might actually be helpful—“I could be preventing someone from getting a speeding ticket.” (..and I was silently agreeing).  It sounded reasonable until the instructor calmly replied, “You might also be stopping someone from rushing a choking child to the hospital.”

That one stayed with me.

Because it reminded me how easy it is to build a belief around limited perspective – a perspective that was likely installed in the programming - and how quickly that belief can fall apart when we’re willing to see beyond it.

There was a time when I followed the habit of sunscreen and sunglasses because they’re heavily promoted, widely accepted, rarely questioned, and simply part of the outdoor routine. When I started paying attention to perspectives that challenged that—through my own research and through voices like doctors Jack Kruse, Rachel Maurice and Stephen Hussey—it led me to look more closely at sunlight, how our bodies interact with it, and the vital role it plays in our overall health.

So, I experimented. I stopped defaulting to sunscreen and sunglasses, and I began paying more attention to how I felt, how I responded, and what made sense to me as I learned more.

Is this the final word? I don’t know. Am I open to being challenged again? Absolutely.

Aha! ~ Be willing to question what you haven’t fully examined

This is where humility gets interesting.  It’s the kind that doesn’t need to win an argument because it’s more interested in understanding it.

We live in a time where division is easy. Opinions are sharp. Lines are drawn quickly.

However, as the saying goes, we’re either pulling together, or we’re pulling apart. And whether intentional or not, “divide and conquer” has always been an effective strategy to rule the masses.

I think it’s worth asking: are we being invited to think more deeply or react more quickly?  Because the truth is, none of us has the full picture. And as Mark Twain once said, “It’s easier to fool someone than to convince them they’ve been fooled.”

That includes all of us.

So, when something lands in a way that feels completely off… maybe the move isn’t to shut it down or strike back. Maybe it’s to lean in with a question.  Not to prove a point but to explore it. 

Because it’s in those moments that we’re not just learning more about the situation, we’re learning more about ourselves. And the next teacher rarely arrives wearing a nametag.

Could getting emotional and striking back be the slam of the door on your next, best lesson?  That’s one of the questions we’ll answer in Human U Wednesday at 4:30 eastern.  Email me for the link to join live [email protected]