I feel we have it backwards.

First, I need to share that I originally wrote, “I think we have it backwards,” but that wasn’t accurate. Thinking is analytical. It debates. It measures. The shift wasn’t analytical. It came from alignment. So, I switched it up.

Moving on ….

Look at how we live.

We reach for our phones before we greet the sun. We sacrifice sleep to prepare for exams and presentations as if exhaustion were a badge of honor. We rearrange our lives for urgent meetings yet rarely protect time for a walk that could reset our entire nervous system. We spend easily on entertainment but hesitate to invest in tools that support cellular renewal. We rush through meals or outsource them altogether while claiming we don’t have time to nourish ourselves properly.

It looks responsible – downright ambitious!  But what if it’s inside out?

When we continually prioritize external outcomes, we condition the brain to live in pursuit mode. Dopamine keeps us chasing the next result, the next approval, the next accomplishment. There’s nothing wrong with achievement – we’re designed to expand - but when pursuit becomes the primary focus, the nervous system stays activated. We may build tolerance for stress, but we don’t necessarily build inner strength.

And here’s the question that stopped me: Are we building a dream life, or are we building the person capable of sustaining one?

Aha! ~ “Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” — Jim Rohn

When you focus on yourself first — your discipline, your standards, your self-love and leadership — something profound happens.

Here’s the sciency explanation: the prefrontal cortex strengthens through repeated intentional choices. Decision-making becomes cleaner. Confidence grows not from affirmation but from evidence. You keep promises to yourself, and your nervous system begins to trust you.

Why does that matter? Actually, the reason is huge!  Because that internal trust changes your energy!  And when your energy changes, your posture shifts, your pace steadies and your presence deepens.  From here, you are no longer trying to extract success you are becoming it.

Being healthy and strong all by yourself — regulated, intentional, self-led — becomes the foundation for absolutely anything and everything that follows.

Your body stabilizes first. You sleep better. You think clearer. Your nervous system isn’t constantly bracing.

Your relationships improve because you’re no longer seeking validation or reacting from depletion. Opportunities expand because people feel your steadiness. Income grows because you make decisions from clarity rather than urgency.

You grow into your results.

And that’s why I changed “think” to “feel.”

Thinking would have kept this as an opinion. Feeling is knowing.

And … that’s the chocolate.  Not the job. Not the applause. Not the outcome. The chocolate is becoming the person first.

Everything else is just the wrapper.

Oh, I just love this Aha!  Admittedly, Aha!s are me talking to myself first.  Full disclosure, I lost myself for a while there (too long, actually) living in fight or flight mode. But I am back.  Join us in Human U while I share more about this journey during our Momentum Accelerator call 4:30 pm eastern, Wednesday.  Link here. to join